My Sadguru

Let me begin my essays on the saints by talking about my Sadguru. When I say "I", it is not really I who am writing the essay. For I am not at all qualified to write it. How can one who finds it difficult to understand the concepts of computer networks understand the Sadguru, who is Brahma,Vishnu and Maheshwara. He verily is the Parabrahma. He is without beginning and without end. For one must always be aware that the Sadguru verily is the doer and all of us are mere instruments. By seeking refuge in his feet, and by offering my ego at his feet, I seek the Sadguru's blessings in writing this essay. For I am merely a dullard. And to write about sadguru, whom even the vedas and the thousand tongued shesha find it hard to describe is an impossible task. Only the Sadguru can describe himself. And it is with his blessings that I have the courage and one might say audacity to attempt the task at hand.

In here, I first try to write about what I know about Guru. My fond remembrances of those childhood days, when I used to gaze at my Sadguru's magnificent form at the temple in Tyagarajnagar and without knowing any of his leelas was still enraptured by him and was drawn towards him like a bee towards a flower.

I was of the opinion that Sai Baba of Shirdi was one of the myriad of gods of our religion. Though I was too young at that time, my grandfather used to tell me stories of Shree Samartha Ramdasa, one of the greatest saints of India and the world. He would also tell me that god is one, and is referred to by different names by different people. Allah and Eshwar are one and the same. My grandfather was very spiritual and he would see god in all creatures. I still fondly remember him putting sugar near ant hills so the ants could feed on them. I remember going to the Shree Rama temple which was opposite to our house. My grandfather used to tell us stories of the great Rama bhaktha Samartha Ramdas. This instilled bhakthi(devotion) in my heart.

Now my grandfather who was known for his piety also asked my mother to read the stories of Samarth Ramdas, before my birth. It was perhaps this too that influenced my traversing the path of bhakthi and the worship of the great saints.

Also my grandfather would request my mother to prepare poha/avalakki or parched rice and offer it as naivedya(offering) to Sai Baba of Shirdi at the temple in Tyagarajanagar. This being done, the prasad was distributed to every one and then we would eat it ourselves.

Even when I was born, it is said that my mother suffered intense pain and there was a Sai Baba portrait in that room. Remembering how fondly my grandfather would worship Sainath, my mother prayed to him. Then the delivery she says, happened very smoothly. So you see, my Sai Samarth has been protecting me and my family for a long time. As Sai Baba often used to remark to his devotee Shama, "Shama, there are 72 generations, tying us together." . Likewise I feel there is the connection between me and Sai Baba.

The Sai Spiritual centre in Tyagarajanagar was established by Shri Radhakirshna Swamiji. Now this Radhakrishna Swamiji, he had attained oneness with Sainath by constant meditation on Sai Baba. He came to Bangalore and lived in a small room in Tyagarajanar. People were naturally drawn to him, and thus he established the first Sai Baba temple in Bangalore. He would sit in the temple and make everyone chant the Vishnu Sahasra Nama. He himself would chant the same. He would also fondly distribute sugar candy to children. I remember when I was very young, to have collected a sugar candy from him. The only memory that comes to my mind is that of a person, who was so radiant that one look at him was not enough. I remember seeing Swamiji only once. My grandfather it is said was very close with him. One day when I was quite young, I remember my grandfather describing the greatness of Shri Radhakrishna Swamiji. Then he explained that Radhakrishna Swmaiji left his mortal frame. A very close devotee was ill with an incurable disease. The swamiji applied Sai Baba's vibuthi onto the man and assured him not to worry. The swamiji it is said, took the suffering and the disease of the devotee onto himself. He gradually weakened while the devotee became all right. Then Swamiji said that he would leave his physical frame on Uttarayana day at an auspicious time and merge into Sadguru Sainath.

On the said day, tearful devotees were assembled, chanting the Vishnu Sahasranama in front of Swamiji and "Om Namo Narayanaya". Then when the hour came, Like Bhishma pitamaha in the Mahabarata, Swamiji left his mortal coil to become one with the supreme. Even now, people can feel his presence and guidance, for what difference is there between the Swamiji and Sainath, Swamiji has merged into Sainath himself. This is how Radhakrishna Swamiji helped his devotees and continues to guide them to worship Sainath. He is rightly called the Apostle of love. Now Radhakrishna Swamiji took samadhi in 1980. I was born in 1983. And yet, I clearly remember seeing him when I was quite young. How is it possible, you ask? I will leave it to you to contemplate on and figure it out.

Thus It was in this atmosphere that I grew up and my love for my Sadguru seemed to wane with the years. The scientific temperament seemed to have made me less religious. But then, the ways of god are inscrutable. I fell into depression during my teenage. The zeal with which I seemed to study in Pre University seemed to be lost when I was studying engineering. Many humiliations and defeats had made me weary. It was then that my father said to me, he brought tickets to Pune and Shirdi is only 180 KMs from there. So off I left with my parents to Shirdi. How can I forget the experience that I had. Sai Baba has said " No harm shall befall him, who steps on the soil of Shirdi." and "He who comes to my Samadhi(tomb), his sorrow will be destroyed". And the very same thing happened. As soon as I came to the village of Shirdi, an incredible thing happened. I felt as though all my sorrow had left me. I felt calm and peaceful. Until then I seemed depressed, but at that moment, I was very happy and contented. And then I went to the hotel and after getting fresh and ready went to the temple, the Samadhi mandir, where Sai Baba's samadhi is located. There is a beautiful marble murthi of Sai Baba near the Samadhi. I still remember how ecstatic I felt when I went near it. I was electrified and I kept staring at Baba's face for what seemed like an eternity. There seemed to be so much bliss and so much compassion in the face. Then Baba reminded me of another saying of his, "If you look at me,you will realize that I too am looking at you". It was such a blissful moment, that it has ever been etched in my heart. This strengthened my devotion towards my Sadguru, and I became convinced that he is Parabrahma himself.

In the next blog, I will continue by writing about the experiences I had when I visited Shirdi the first time.

Bow to Shri Sai, Peace be to all.