Expectation

As I walked into the office, pondering over what would make me feel better. That made me realize that I was not feeling good. I was feeling blue. Why I wondered? I changed the question a little. What is it that has made me feel bad. I realized that there was something that I wanted badly. Something that I would have really enjoyed had it happened. It has not happened yet. And unfortunately, every day I am somehow reminded of that fact.

Today somehow I wanted to bring a closure to the issue. How do I do it I wondered. I then saw the calendar lying on my desk. There was a saying of Lord Sainath before today's date. It was "Poverty is better than Kingship. The lord is always with the poor". I had always understood this statement to allude to Sainath's fakiri (medicant lifestyle) . Haven't poets sung time and again looking at Baba's magnificent form "You wear the garb of a fakir but in reality you are the emperor of emperors. You are the almighty God who has created this vast universe!"  But today I felt it is a profound truth that can be interpreted at different dimensions.

I realized that the reason behind why I was feeling miserable was my expectation. I have been told time and again that I have vast expectations, which if not fulfilled I tend to get very disappointed. Who doesn't? That is what the Buddha said when he said "desires contain in them, seeds of misery". If I did not have that expectation that something should happen, if I had not tied my happiness to some external event would I be miserable as I am now? I realized that expectation (especially high expectations) are precursors to misery.

That is when I realized that sometimes richness can be translated to greediness to be rich or to attain supremacy over others (Kingship) . This greed to get this or that can disappoint us terribly. When the expectation is satisfied there is joy which is short lived. It is short lived because we again go about seeking some other high expectation. Instead if I go about my duty of being a son, a husband, an employee without expecting anything. I will be joyous should I get something pleasant and not disappointed should something happen that I had not anticipated. This is what Lord Krishna talks about in the Bhagavat Gita when he says "Do your best and surrender the results to me!" . Expecting something in life is pretty much like expecting some result. If I do not get that result, I blame myself, my family and God. I go around saying life is unfair. The whole thing really has a lot to do with our attitude towards life. Fakiri or poverty does not mean I should not have money or wealth. Even if I have money or wealth, I live life in such a way that no external person, situation or circumstance is expected to give me happiness. The moment someone realize this, he is verily the richest person on earth.

The best way to combat high expectations of oneself and the rest of the world is to do one's duty and live in the powerful belief that Samartha Sadguru Sainath Maharaj, who knows what is best for me, is looking after me and providing me the best in the world. I must live in the realization that Baba's feet are enough to keep me happy. They are not an external entity. They exist in my heart. If you feel devoid of  love, remember this, that the Sadguru can love you like a mother. Sadguru's motherly love can nourish us and is always available to us. Sometimes lost in the world of expectations we become oblivious of the Sadguru's grace.

My only prayer to Samartha Sadguru Sainath Maharaj is to provide me Shraddha (Faith) and Saburi (Patience) to face life head on. To give me the forebearance to withstand the trials and tribulations of life. To face the waves of insults and humiliations by standing like a rock unperturbed. Sainath, help me in this endeavor.

|| Om Jai Sai Ram ||

|| Shree Satchitananda Sadguru Sainath Maharaj Ki Jai || 

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